I'm losing you
by loversrebellion
Summary: Tori has had her heart broken too many times. Who will be there to help her fix? That's if she lets them, try.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: What, what do you want?

Disclaimer: No I don't not at all own Victorious

Tori's POV

"Cat, Cat stop now please!" I yell at her but she just won't stop, stop kissing me on my neck. "But, Tori" she pouts with her innocent eyes but I'm not falling for it this time. "You cheated on me Cat, I am not taking you back." I scream, tears starting to pour down my face. "Aww, Tori please don't cry" she whispers, trying to wipe my tears away. "No Cat you are the one that made me cry" I shout and push her arm away, forcefully. "Tori, Tori I'm sorry I was a meanie to you" she keeps trying to look into my eyes, but I just can't. "Cat please just stop just go to Jade, the one you cheated on me with. I bet you love her no huh Cat. But Cat I loved you, I love you so why why did you do this to me." I scream using all the pain inside in it. "Tori I love you too" she whispers so childish and this isn't childish.

They always thought Cat was the sweet one, that would never hurt a fly. Well she hurt me, she broke me and I'm not taking her back, no, not this time. Yes she has done this time and time again but I love her so much that I always took her back. I just can't, can't take it anymore. "why why Cat why?" I cry out to her asking painful questions that I need to know. "I...I Tori" is all she says after all this damage she has done to me. And it hurts worst knowing that everytime I take her back, she gives me time to gain her trust again. Then she rips it right out of me, right out of my heart. I let myself fall to my knees and I sob and sob more. I just can't stop, the tears just keep coming trying to wash away all the pain inside of me.

She is grabbing my hand that is rolled into a fist, I am trying to get rid of this, heartbreak. I'm breaking, I'm broken and it's all because 'innocent' Cat. "I'm sorry Tori I will make it up to you." she yells but I just scream and scream. Like it is going to let all these complicated feelings go, but it's not. At the corner of my eye I see Cat pick up her phone and press her hard against her ear. "Oh, Jade" I hear Cat say and it just kills me I gain enough strength to get up and run out of the room, Cat's room. It's very bright in her house even though it's dark outside. I just can't stand the light right now I need dark, lonely dark not cheerful light. I walk outside the door and just run I run towards no where I just run and I don't stop until I run into someone.

I know it's a girl when I look at her from the floor as I fall on to my back. She quickly gets up and hovers over me and her face is familiar too familiar. "Tori?" I hear her say in a angry voice and her voice is too familiar too. 'Those eyes' I scream inside of my head 'It's...It's Jade'. "Jade?" I weakly say the words falling right down on my feet as I try to stand up. Surprisingly she helps me, once I am on my feet, almost steady. I push her back into a car, hard with so much anger. "What the fuck, Tori?" She screams out in pain and anger. "You took Cat from me you fucking asshole" I scream at her, pushing her back harder into the hood of the car.

She shouts in pain but manages to yell "Tori, Tori fucking stop I'm fucking sorry I really am." I am between her legs, squeezing her arms hard, drawing blood. "I don't want to hear that just fight me, fight back" I yell. But she just lays there under the street light pressed hard against the random car. With my nails engraving into her arms that are dripping blood. She just stops tensing like she is going to let me bet her but I don't. Because I see her eyes light up as the street light above us turns on. I look at her eyes before I quickly and forcefully kiss her hard. And she kisses back without hesitation.

When we have to break away for air I let go of her and I start running again away from Cat away from Jade away from heartbreak. But I just can't lose it, it just keeps catching up to me.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Leave me alone

Disclaimer: Victorious, no, no, no just no

I rush through my door, staring at a wide eyed Trina with her surprised boyfriend. "What's wrong?" Trina asks, pretending like she cares and her voice has just enough fake care in it to convince. "Um" is all I can say before I run up to my room not looking back and I slam the door. Breathing hard and I am still feeling like I am getting no air. "Tori, Tori! What's wrong!" I hear Trina's voice makes it's way through my door. I cover my ears I just don't want to hear, sympathy. Sympathy just kills me more and I'm already almost dead. "I'm...just leave me alone" I scream I just want to be alone and stay alone. Being with someone always hurts.

I just want to forget everything but I just can't this isn't that easy. Cat made it so difficult to move on that I am engraved deep down in this same spot and I always will be. I see my phone light up in my pocket as I grab it to take out Cat's name is written all over it and I answer it I don't know why but I answer it. "Tori please listen" she pleads but it isn't her voice not at all it's darker that Cat's. "Who is this?" I ask out of panic "Its me Jade but please don't hang up" she begs and I have never heard Jade beg. At least she takes this more serious than Cat. "Tori, me and Cat are in your house, downstairs, please come down." She asks with desperation in her voice just shattering me. "No" I whisper then hang up.

"No" I say to myself, trying to keep myself from running back to Cat. I already hear them running upstairs, knocking at me door. "Go away" I try to yell but instead I just say it. I get up and walk to my bed and just stand there Cat has been here she has been here time and time again. Jade finally gets in some how but Jade is always mysterious. But Cat is just behind her gnawing on her lip with her hands clasped together, staring at me. Jade has her arms down to her sides and she is staring at me too. Trina gives me a caring look then shuts the door. "Why are y'all here shouldn't you two be fucking or something?" I ask with weak anger. "No" Jade says quickly then walks, fast over to me I'm backing up against the edge of my bed.

Like I had her against that car Cat is already standing beside Jade, reaching to grab my hand. But I rush away to the other side of the room, by the door. And I feel like running, I need to run. "No! Tori please!" Cat yells and runs to jump on me, knocking me down to the floor. But she already has me deep down in the dirt. She is on top of me, pinning me down. She is surprisingly strong, Jade finally starts talking but she seems nervous, she is sweating and Jade never sweats. "I'm sorry and Cat is sorry. I am sorry for messing around with Cat when I knew she was with you. And Cat's sorry for cheating on you with me. Don't ask why I did it but you can ask Cat. Surely this time she will answer, right Cat." Cat nods while looking deep into my eyes I try to look away but she has a tight grip on me.

"Why did you do it then Cat." She opens her mouth to speak but the words just don't come out or maybe they did just that they are just not getting to me. Jade begins to speak for her "Cat did it because she felt pressured to act like someone she wasn't when she was with you." "Why, Cat?" I ask and this time her words to come to me "Because Tori I have always had that innocent image and I just don't want it no more. You know like Britney Spears when she..." I shut her up by putting my hand on her mouth. Then I slowly get up and she lets me. "So I fell in love with the wrong person. I fell in love with a girl that wasn't actually real because all this time you were just acting." I say to her gaining my anger back.

I turn to Jade and ask her "why did you do it and I don't care if you don't want me to ask." She has no smirk on her face, she is getting no pleasing out of seeing me in pain. "Because I was lonely and Cat was just there she has always been there. And we didn't have to act with each other because the sex meant nothing. It was just sex that's what we wanted it to just be. That's why we made no big deal because we are not in love. That's why I am sorry because I know you are in love with her. But Tori, she is in love with you too." She answers but I say "The Cat I feel in love with doesn't exist and even if she did love me she wouldn't have cheated on me she would have just talked to me. I look at her and Cat one last time before I try walking out of my room.

Jade's hand is tied around mine, she is looking at me as she says "If you loved Cat as much as you say you do you wouldn't have had the urge to kiss me and you actually did kiss me." I lose some of my tensing and I ask "well why did you kiss me back?" She looks away while saying "just because I wanted to." After she says that she lets go of my hand and grabs Cat, she rushes out of my room. But I get to look at both of their faces one last time before they are completely downstairs. And it looks like Jade is crying and Cat is scared. But why?, why is Jade crying? and why is Cat scared?


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: I will torture you, my future lover...

Disclaimer: Do not own Victorious

I wake up, rushing out of bed downstairs I want to see what Jade's problem is. "Tori, where are you going?" Trina asks I think she actually is starting to care. "Just for a walk" I say in a low voice then walk out my front door. The first thing I feel is light wind rush on to me. I start walking towards Jade's house not caring if I look like crap there is no one to look good for anyway. I didn't want to call her because it's easy for her to lie through the phone since I can't see her expressions. Jade is good at acting but I can tell if she is lying now. I reach her house and it's dark looking 'oh well' my thoughts sigh and I knock on the door.

She answers the door quickly with a angry look on her face but she always has that look. Except for when she was apologizing to me and when I had her against that car. "What Vega?" she asks angrily but I can tell she is faking it. "I want to talk to you, West" I answer with just as much fake anger in my voice. She rolls her eyes as I just walk in she slams the door but I don't jump. I just turn around to face her "What is your problem why do you hate me?" I ask, getting to the point. "Why does it matter?" she asks instead of answering my question. "Answer my question, Jade" I raise my voice she growls at me nut it's not intimidating. The reason why I am not scared now is because I don't care if I get hurt anymore.

"C'mon" she demands me yanking my hand upstairs to her room. Her room has dead butterflies in cases all over the room most of them are dark colors. "Well are you done looking through my room?" she nags. I just sigh and ask "Are you ready to answer my fucking question?" She squeezes my arm but I don't twitch I just smile and say "I can act just like you, Jade, watch me." I yank her hand off then push her against her closed door. "Answer my question, now" I demand she smiles then begins to speak "I don't hate you, you fucking bitch. I pity you since I fucked your lover. And I know how you feel." I push her harder against the door. And ask "Is that why you were crying when you left my room?"

She tenses up and tries to push me off "hurt me, Jade if you want me to feel the pain you felt then fucking hurt me I don't care anymore." Her eyes seem to gain emotion and she whispers "I didn't want you to turn like me, look at you this is what you are doing. I used to be like you, cheerful until Cat broke my heart too. That's why I am like this that is why she knows the real me." I put both of my hands to her neck but I don't press just grab it. "Really well what's the real reason why you kissed me then?" I ask she grabs my waist and digs her nails into my back and whispers "Because I have always kind of secretly wanted you." I cry out in pain but she just smiles and says "See you wanted me to hurt you well then I am going to hurt you."

I smile and lift my head back up and say "Well come on then, bring it on" tempting her. She pushes me to the ground like this is a competition. Maybe it is "fuck Jade!" I scream out when she bites down on my neck, making me bleed. I push her off Jade grins and just says "what you can't take it?" I shake my head and say "no it's you that can't take you being in love with me. That's why you hurt me to fight it away but it always comes back when you realize you really did hurt me." She sits down and I lift up she whispers "how can you figure people out so easily?" I shrug my shoulders and just answer "Maybe it's because we have all been through the same thing. Like me and you have both been broken by Cat."

She just nods and says "maybe that's why you kissed me huh?" I nod because half of it's true but I don't really know the other half maybe I am in love with her. Just that I can't handle it. "I think I am in love with you too but I want to meet the real you to make sure." I whisper she gets up and takes my hand lifting me up instead of yanking. "Well at least we know we won't hurt each other since we have both been hurt." She says I respond "yeah I know" she smiles and says "Bye and trust me you will meet the real me one day but for now here's this." She kisses me hard before forcing me downstairs and smiling at me before pushing outside her house door and I just smile back. Before the door closes and I just walk off back to my house. Wondering about the future, with real Jade.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Hide and Seek

Disclaimer: don't own no Victorious.

When I get home Cat is there I am starting to get irritated. "Tori!" Cat shouts and runs to hug me, well there is no point of running anymore so I hug her back. "Cat we can only be friends for now on, Ok" I say she nods and hugs me tighter. "Where did you go?" she asks, letting go "Jade's house" I say under my breath. "Why?" she shouts "why does it matter?" I shout back. Cat's face starts to get annoyed and angry which is surprising. "Well I went to see what her problem was" I say then walk past to her hitting her shoulder with mine on the way and sit on the couch. "What was her problem?" she asks I turn around and scream "her problem is that she is heartbroken by you like I am."

"She told you! What the fuck, man!" Cat screams I have never seen her like this her hands turning into tight fists. Her pacing quickly back and forth, this isn't the Cat I know. But I really actually never knew a girl named Cat this is her true self. Not the innocent image that everyone gave her, the one she gave herself. Then blamed it on me. "What you made her keep it a secret?" I ask angrily feeling bad for Jade. Cat has made Jade stay in a shell this whole time no wonder why she acts the way she does. "Yeah because no one has the right to know not even you Tori." She says pushing me harder on the couch. "Well she told me you fucking bitch!" I yell who is she to tell me what I can and can't know.

She climbs on top of me and I try to push her off. "Stop fucking moving, you whore I know you kissed Jade." She screams grabbing my neck, pushing me down hard. "Get off, Cat" I cry but she doesn't, she just stares down at me with her dark brown eyes. This is the real her this is the real Cat. Brutal and a heartbreaker. I am gasping for air as she pressing harder on my neck, squeezing the life out of me. Too bad Trina isn't here to save me or Jade or anyone, really. "Cat" I breathe out she smiles just smiles so evil. She finally lets go when I gain enough strength to claw at her hands, barely. "This is the real me, Vega don't fucking forget it. And I did love you I think I still do but you just won't fucking listen to me." She says lowering her voice, letting me gain my air back.

"You made Jade act like you, you made Jade someone she's not." I manage to say while I recover. Cat slaps me across my face, hard after I say that. I begin crying Cat is hurting me more but this time it's physically. I thought I didn't care about being hurt anymore but I do. "Aww Tori don't fucking cry" she says, innocently lowering her face just a few inches from mine, grabbing my hands, forcing them down. So I won't move "so what did you do at Jade's house are you cheating on me?" she whispers looking deep into me. I am so scared so I tell her "I kissed Jade, again, we love each other." Her eyes get angry again and she says "So you are cheating on me" she squeezes my arms tight. I cry out and Cat just smiles she is getting pleasure out of my pain.

I feel vibrating in my pocket and me and Cat both look at it. It's my phone I try to answer it but Cat just slaps me again. She digs in my pocket, getting the phone and smiles. "Oh it's Jade" she whispers, smiling evilly. "Please" I beg she smiles bigger "oh I like hearing you beg Tori" she says, throwing the phone to the other side of the room. She picks my legs up and spreads them, making her way between. I try to lift myself but she pushes me right back down. "Cat please, don't" I plead but she just laughs, rubbing her hands up my thighs to up my shirt. I gasp and turn away as she pushes her closer between me. "Oh how I want you Tori" she whispers, pressing her body into mine. Her mouth on my neck, kissing me.

I shutter "I don't want this Cat" I say, shaking. "Well I want it so you are going to get it" she says back. But she jumps off when we both hear knocking at the door. I rush up to answer it and it's Jade.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Just admit you love me

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious at all

"Jade" I scream, jumping on her looking up to her face. I let her see the fear in my eyes. Once she looks at me, she sees that I am scared. "Tori?" she ask with concern I just whisper "Cat tried to rape me" Jade's eyes fill with anger and she quickly looks up at Cat, who is smiling. Jade slowly pushes me aside and walks fast over to Cat, but she doesn't hit her. "C'mon, Jade you know you won't hit me. You still want me and I still own you." Cat whispers, rubbing on Jade's chest. "I don't want you and you don't own me" Jade shouts, grabbing her hand, throwing it to the side. "Oh you want to be like that huh Jade" Cat says with anger. "Yes I am going to be like that" Jade yells. Cat's smirk comes back and it isn't pleasing at all. "Have it your way" Cat screams pushing Jade to the floor.

"Jade!" I scream, when I hear her back hit the wooden floor. I try to run over to her but Cat rushes in front of me. With that evil smile still on her face. "Aww Tori please don't pick Jade it hurts my feelings a lot" Cat is whispering, taking steps closer I begin to lose my breath. "Cat" I whisper "yeah it's me Tor and I will never let Jade hurt you." She says reaching to hug me. I see Jade getting up walking behind Cat. "Tor, Tor look at me" Cat keeps whispering in her innocent voice and I think I am falling for it. "Tori no!" Jade screams, grabbing Cat from behind, pushing her against the wall and it happens so fast. It flashes so fast I get dizzy Cat' hair splattered around the wall makes me think of blood.

"Stop brainwashing Tori!" Jade is screaming at Cat but Cat is looking at me. Her eyes getting lighter like they were when I fell for her. "Cat" I whisper walking closer to her. Cat begins smiling but innocently makes me think that everything is going to be alright. "See I control her, Jade" Cat says, looking towards Jade and I just snap. "Jade" I whisper to myself running to her. I grab Cat's neck so hard and Jade moves out of the way and just watches. But Cat is still smiling I just just want to knock that smile off her damn face. I knee her in the gut and she screams out in pain. I let go and let her fall like she let me fall.

"Get the fuck out of my house you fucking heartbreaker. You fucking bitch just get the fuck out of my life!" I scream picking her up and smashing against the wall again. "I still love you Tori" she gasps out. I let go again and whisper "yeah well I am over you I have Jade now." Cat struggles to get up while whispering "she will probably break you fucking delicate heart." When she completely stands up I pull my fist back to hit her again but Jade grabs my hand. Cat limps out of my house and I feel no guilt at all. "How did you know?" I ask Jade not turning around. "Because the real Cat likes to hurt people that other people really care about, so pretty much everybody. She was always the jealous type too." Jade says I turn around and lean into her she wraps her arms around me.

"I want to stay this way" I whisper into her chest I feel her face lay on my head. "Yeah me too" Jade whispers onto my head. "So this is the real Jade huh caring and protective?" I ask smiling she just says "yeah this is me, do you like?" I whisper "actually I love the real you I wish I could of met her sooner."

"Well her she is and she loves you too" Jade says I laugh and ask "who?" she laughs along and whispers back "Me, silly"

So this is how it ends and how it starts...


End file.
